


A Friend in Need of a Rock

by Pendragon2601



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post 2x04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 21:31:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10727664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pendragon2601/pseuds/Pendragon2601
Summary: Magnus invites his friend Catarina Loss round for some much needed comfort and a chat after the events of the Day of Wrath episode. Whilst they are talking, Magnus comes to realise how much his friendship with her means to him.





	A Friend in Need of a Rock

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago on my Fanfiction.net account so I wondered what everyone on here would think of it. Hope you like. Feel free to leave a comment. Also, I know that the reason for the black knife has been explained already but I wrote this before that happened.

When Catarina arrived at Magnus’s penthouse loft at Nightingale Towers in Brooklyn, she wasn’t entirely surprised to find the front door unlocked and ajar for her. Magnus never locked his front door no matter how many times she told him he should. New York wasn’t always the safest place in the world to live even if you are an all powerful warlock and it was becoming more and more dangerous with each passing day…

She shook her head out of her thoughts and pushed open the door. 

“Magnus, I’m here. I’ve brought the cards like you asked.” She called out into the empty hallway, closing the door behind her. She shrugged off her coat and hung it up by the door, fishing her old pack of playing cards out of one of the pockets. “Magnus? Where are you hiding?”

“I’m out on the balcony, my dear.” 

Catarina looked up and paused, noting the sad tone in Magnus’s voice. She cautiously made her way out to the balcony and found Magnus sitting quietly with a martini in hand and pensive expression on his face. A cold breeze tickled her sky blue skin and she shivered. “Magnus, what are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”

“Is it? I didn’t notice. Come sit with me, have a martini!” Magnus gestured cheerily, patting the bench beside him. Catarina sat down next to him as he snapped his fingers and another martini appeared in her hands in a flash of blue flames. 

“You do know I have an early shift at the hospital tomorrow right?” Catarina replied, taking a sip of her drink. She grimaced and let out a choking cough. “By Lilith Magnus, how much gin have you put in this? Are you trying to get me drunk?”

Magnus gave her a grin and shrugged. “Would that be so bad? Come on, when was the last time you let your hair down?” 

Catarina pursed her lips and fixed Magnus with a look. She put her glass on the table and faced him. He looked away and sipped his drink. “What’s the matter Magnus? I know something is bothering you. When you sent Raphael and that other vampire child to my place earlier, Raphael mentioned that you were trying to find Camille.” She watched him closely and noticed a small twitch in his eye. She frowned. “You…you didn’t find her did you? Please tell me you aren’t going back to her. After all she did to you last time!”

Magnus scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Of course not! I’m not stupid.”

“You could’ve fooled me sitting out here in the cold, drinking yourself silly. Your poor liver! Give me that.” She snatched Magnus’s drink out of his hand and waved one of her hands, vanishing the two glasses into thin air. Magnus glared at her. 

“That was uncalled for.” 

“Well, someone has got to look after you if you’re not going to do it yourself. What would Ragnor say if he saw you like this?” Catarina felt her eyes burn with unshed tears as she thought of their late friend. She felt Magnus gently touch her hand in comfort and looked up to see a sad look on his face that she shared. 

A quiet hush fell upon them, the only sounds they could hear came from the bustling city below. Magnus wrapped an arm around Catarina’s shoulders and let out a low breath. “I wasn’t going to go back to her. The Clave were going to burn Raphael and the whole vampire clan of New York if she wasn’t handed in to answer for her crimes. I couldn’t let her do that to him.” 

“Raphael is like a son to you.” Catarina nodded. 

“Indeed he is. He may be one of the most annoying people I have ever met in my long life but…he’s family.” Magnus chuckled. 

Another silence fell upon them. Catarina felt another breeze tickle her skin and shivered, huddling close to Magnus’s side. “Magnus, can we go inside? It’s getting awfully cold.” 

Magnus nodded, standing up and led her indoors. Rubbing her arms to get some warmth back in them, she idly looked around the room. “You’ve redecorated Magnus. I like it. It suits you.” 

She knew Magnus had always had a penchant for pretty things. He was a man who enjoyed the finer things in life, from drinking martinis out on his balcony which overlooked the Brooklyn Bridge to taking exotic lovers. She remembered once when they had gone on one of their many trips to Paris, Magnus had spotted a beautiful diamond necklace in a shop window and had become mesmerised by the light bouncing off each gem, shining like moonlight on the surface of the sea. He had talked about it for the rest of the day before later buying it on the last day of their holiday. He claimed it was a present for Catarina, a token of their long standing friendship, but they both knew that she would never wear anything that extravagant. She was happy to be a humble nurse. 

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a glass case with a strange object inside. She opened the case curiously and stared at it, gingerly touching the handle of a black knife. Her hand almost shook with the amount of dark magic coming off it.

“Why thank you.” Magnus replied cheerfully, shutting the windows and pulling the curtains closed. “I think I’ll keep it like this for a while. There’s a certain gravitas now isn’t there?”

“Magnus…” 

Magnus turned to Catarina and suddenly felt his smile fall. In her trembling hands, she held the black knife carefully, barely moving her fingers an inch. Magnus stared at her, clenching his jaw. “Did I say you could rifle through my things?”

“Is this what I think it is?” 

Her voice shook as she stared at her friend with wide eyes, tears threatening to fall down her light blue cheeks. Magnus felt a heavy guilt sit on his chest. “I wasn’t going to use it…” he said quietly. 

“Then why have you got it?” she snapped, her eyes suddenly filled with cold fury and hurt. Magnus could feel an almost electric tension in the air between them, like a lightning storm threatening to open its clouds and unleash a whirlwind. “Magnus, do you know what this could do to you? It could rip away your immortality with just a scratch!”

“I know.”

Catarina gaped at him in horror. “What? You knew what this could do to you and you still have it? We’ve got to get rid of it. We’ve got to destroy it!” 

“No!” Magnus leapt forward and snatched the knife close to his chest. “We can’t destroy it, I won’t let you.”

“Why not?” she shouted, a tear slipped down her cheek. “Why would you want to keep such a thing? Unless…”

Magnus silenced her with a look and watched her cry quietly. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t tell her the reason why he wanted to keep the knife. How could he tell one of his oldest friends that he had been thinking of ending it all? 

“Oh I see.” Catarina took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. Magnus looked away and sat down on his couch, holding the knife still. “Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to leave a note?” 

“No, I would never do that to you! You’re my best friend.” Magnus held out his hand to her. After a long moment, she finally took it and sat down next to him. He placed the black knife on the coffee table in front of them, out of harms way. He took a deep breath. “I will admit. I have had thoughts – just thoughts – about…you know. But I’ve got better. I’ve met someone.”

Catarina caught the look he had in his eyes. She fought the smile on her face. “Oh, you have, have you? You need to be put on a leash.”

Magnus gave her a sly look and grinned. “Who’s to say I haven’t got one?”

Catarina rolled her eyes and giggled. “By Lilith, I did not need to know that. That was too much information, Magnus, even for you!”

“Made you laugh though.” 

Catarina stared at Magnus quietly, taking in his tired eyes which seemed older than the rest of his appearance. She had seen those gleaming yellow cats’ eyes for hundreds of years and had become familiar with them. She took his hand in her own and focused her attention on them. “Magnus, do you remember when you saved my life all those years ago? When we met back in that tiny little village in Spain where the villagers were going to burn me alive for witchcraft?” 

Magnus squeezed her hand in comfort. “Yes I remember.” 

“I was screaming for help and you suddenly appeared to me in the crowd. You told me that everything was going to be alright and then you shielded me from the flames and rescued me.” Catarina could still remember the heat of the flames in her nightmares but she refused to dwell on that moment now. “My mother had not long since died so I was all alone. I had never felt so scared in my life. But you took me under your wing and we became the closest of friends.”

“And I would do it again.”

“I know you would. You always try to do the right thing, even if it ends up hurting you in the process. I know it’s a great burden on you, looking after me and Raphael and all of those other wayward souls that come to you in need of help. By Lilith, I know how you feel.” She gave him an imploring look, to which he nodded in agreement. “All of this business with Camille and her crimes, you must not feel guilty for what she has forced you to do.”

“I don’t feel guilty. She went too far, she had to answer for her crimes.” 

“Nor must you feel guilty about betraying her just because she stopped you from making a horrible mistake.” Catarina paused and watched Magnus closely as he looked up at her in horror. 

“How did you…? I never told you about that.” 

“It was from your last bad hangover, when Etta left you…” Catarina looked up at him guiltily. “I didn’t mean to. You know my magic can be a little…invasive when I’m healing. I can’t always tell the difference between physical and emotional pain. It’s all the same to me. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to break your trust.”

Magnus took a deep slow breath and nodded. “It’s okay, I forgive you.”

“I’m glad.” Catarina replied, letting out a breath that she didn’t even know she had been holding. “Magnus you’re my best friend in the entire world. No, you’re more than that. You’re my family. You are the only constant thing I can reliably depend upon in my life. I mean that from the deepest part of my soul, if warlocks are even capable of having souls. You’re my rock, Magnus.”

Magnus stared at his friend for a moment before he had an epiphany of sorts. Catarina was like family to him. She had been there for him whenever he had mourned the loss of an ex-lover and she had been there for the fun times as well. She even knew exactly how old he was – and the heavens knew he wouldn’t dare tell anyone that – and she had kept every secret he ever had. And she knew about Blackfriars Bridge and didn’t tell anyone else. Hardly anyone knew about that horrible moment of weakness and few remained to tell of it now. 

She may not have been there for most of his life, but he realised that she had been one of the only reliable things in his life too. The thought completely terrified him. 

He focused on Catarina once more as she continued to speak. He noticed that tears were forming in her eyes as she reached up and gently held the sides of his head in her hands. “Magnus I know this life can be difficult and that it can make beings like us weary of life. But promise me that if you ever feel like you can’t do it anymore, that you tell me so that you don’t have to cope on your own. I can’t bear the thought of you suffering like that. Please promise me.”

Magnus slowly nodded. The next minute he found himself wrapped in Catarina’s arms as she pulled him into a tight hug. “I’ll always be there for you Magnus, no matter what happens.” 

“I know.” He murmured into her white-blonde hair, sniffling quietly as he felt a tear roll down his cheek. He hugged her tighter and relaxed, relishing in how warm and comforting she felt. Whenever she healed one of his many hangovers, her magic always gave him this feeling that he was in safe hands. Or maybe that was just Catarina. 

They slowly broke away, wiping their tears and sniffling with calming breaths. Catarina caught Magnus’s eye and gave him a small smile. “So, who’s this new “someone” in your life then? Guy or girl?”

“Guy. He’s a…” Magnus let out a small laugh as he thought of Alec, feeling the odd butterflies in his stomach whenever he thought of him. “He’s a Shadowhunter. A Lightwood, would you believe.”

Catarina raised an eyebrow at him in surprise. “A Lightwood..? Well…”

“I know what you’re thinking, but he’s not like them. Alec is different.” 

“You’re on a first name basis, huh? Just how long have you known him for.” She asked suspiciously.

“Not long. We’re still getting to know each other. But he’s intriguing. He always surprises me. I’ve not felt that way in a long time Catarina.” 

Catarina noticed a small thoughtful smile appear on his face. “Okay, you’ll have to introduce us sometime. I want to see what he’s like before I give my stamp of approval. But if he hurts you in anyway, then Accords be damned I will end him.” She grinned at him as he rolled his eyes with a chuckle. 

“Message received loud and clear.” 

They joked and laughed with each other until Catarina decided it best to go home. When she left Magnus’s apartment, he suddenly felt lighter, like the world had been take off his shoulders. He looked down at the black knife on the table, picked it up and returned it to its glass box. It was a last resort if he ever needed it. But he was sure now that he wouldn’t need it for a very long while yet.


End file.
